


Talk Me Down

by kageyamaotori



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Relationship Problems, future sin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:53:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8951032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kageyamaotori/pseuds/kageyamaotori
Summary: Tsukishima finds himself counting the bruises Kuroo leaves on Bokuto's skin and how long he holds Akaashi's hand, but thats normal right? Tsukki is insecure and Kuroo is trying his best.





	1. Chapter 1

The music pounds through Kuroo’s ribs and encompasses him, hands roaming the only other being in his space of strobing lights.

“Kuro-- _ah_ …”

Bokuto's pleas rumble through his chest, bringing a scalding heat just under his skin. His hands card through Bokuto’s soft salt pepper hair, their lips pressing and pulling, their groans and whimpers dripping from the spaces of stolen breaths.

Bokuto’s tongue presses against Kuroo’s lips and they part immediately for the warm length, moaning as it explores the insides of his mouth. 

Bokuto leans back to glance at Kuroo’s flushed face and smirks before beginning to trail sweet, sloppy kisses down Kuroo’s throat.

“S-so good Bo... _nhg_ , yes just like tha-- _ah_ ,” Kuroo breathes, fingers pulling gently at Bokuto’s hair. Bokuto shivers and moves to palm Kuroo between his legs, his teeth scraping along the skin of his neck.

Kuroo moans, loud and desperate.

He tenses when he feels a tall presence at his back, relaxing when Bokuto pulls back and peeks over Kuroo’s shoulder, a bright smile widening under his glazed amber eyes.

“Tsukki…”

Kuroo gasps as arms wrap around his waist, face burning with the red light pulsing through the club. Kuroo leans back to press a kiss to Kei’s face, opening his neck to Bokuto’s persistent mouth.

Kuroo’s thoughts drift as the song slips into something smoother, like Bokuto’s wet, _slick_ , tongue slipping over the new bruises decorating his skin.

After a while, Kuroo steps away to catch his breath. His erection strains his jeans-- he knew he shouldn't have worn leather-- but he ignores when his thoughts catch on a particular starry-eyed setter. 

He glances at Bokuto, happily claiming Tsukihima's lips.

Humming in approval, he turns to push through the crowd. 

\---

Kuroo finds him leaning against the bar, lost in thought as he swirls a drink in his hand.

Kuroo watches him, admiring the way the blue light cascades down his high cheekbones, content to be left connecting the dappled light falling through his long lashes. He follows the thin eyeliner leaving the corner of each of Akaashi’s eyes and traces the sharp curved of his lips until he looks up to meet a thin brow raised in a silent question. Kuroo smiles and sidles up to him, throwing an arm over his shoulder. He shakes his head and a small smile hints his lips.

Akaashi downs his drink and places it behind him, wrapping his arms around Kuroo, hands entwining loosely at his side. 

Kuroo opens his mouth to ask what he had been thinking when Akaashi leans up to whisper in his ear, “Did Tsukki find you and Kou alright?” he slurs, fitting his face into Kuroo’s neck with a soft kiss.

“Mhm.” Kuroo whimpers as Akaashi’s hand drags against his erection. He leans back and traces a finger along the curve of Kuroo’s cheek, his minty breath ghosting over Kuroo’s parted lips.

  
“What made you come find me?” He muses out loud, all too soon setting his feet flat against the ground to nuzzle against Kuroo’s chest.

“Were they not good enough for you?” he teases, rubbing circles on Kuroo’s back. Kuroo bites back a laugh and pushes Akaashi against the bar.

“Actually, they were really good; all _hot_ and _moaning_....” Kuroo murmurs lazily into Akaashi’s ears, earning a gorgeous shiver to travel down Akaashi’s body.

Akaashi keeps Kuroo's gaze, the blush dusting his cheeks and ears visible under the opaque light. Akaashi’s heavy lidded eyes fall closed and Kuroo finds his lips drifting along each eye, pressing softly at the corners, mindful of the makeup. The song playing is entrancing and low, the beat in time with Kuroo’s body shifting over Akaashi’s.

“You’re so pretty Akaashi.” Kuroo mumbles at the corner of Akaashi's mouth before slowly pressing their lips together. Akaashis fingers twist into Kuroo’s hair as their kiss deepens, his back arching when Kuroo pulls Akaashi’s bottom lip between his teeth.

“Mhng...I kn-know…” Akaashi gasps and Kuroo has to remember what he said because Akaashi just wiped his red lips against the back of his hand and Kuroo Tetsurou is most definitely _not_ okay.

Akaashi begins to squirm under Kuroo’s heated gaze, his swollen lips pouting at the lack of contact. Kuroo smiles and does nothing. Akaashi glares and brings his hips forward, hard and Kuroo groans loud enough for several heads to turn their way.

  
Kuroo's eyes widen when Akaashi pulls his head down by the jaw and presses his lips to the hollow of his ear.

“Don’t tease me, Kuroo.”

Kuroo is reduced to sounds as Akaashi crashes their lip in a messy kiss.

Kuroo's blood rushes and his fingers roam into Akaashi's hair, tugging hard.

Akaashi rocks their bodies together, Kuroo’s hands sliding down to grip Akaashi's hips, hard enough to leave bruises.

  
Akaashi’s uneven breaths betray that he’s close, Kuroo not too far behind.

Another pair of lips press against Kuroo’s ear, soft breath tickling his skin.

“Can I finish you off, Tetsu?” Kei asks sweetly as Bokuto speaks to Akaashi, running his hands down his hips from behind.

Kuroo is distracted by Bokuto’s mouth on Akaashi’s flushed face. Akaashi’s hard on is nothing short of beautiful and Kuroo wants t--

Kei sighs next to his ear. 

“I feel like you forget me when those two are here.”

Kuroo’s head snaps to Kei’s, his hands coming up to cup the blonde's face.

“No! Wh--”

Kei pulls away from Kuroo's hold and gazes down at him.

“What do they have that I can't seem to get, no matter how hard I try?”

He breathes in slowly to regain his composure, his fingers gently resting on Kuroo's cheek.

“I promised you I would be more open about my feelings and I am.”

He stares into Kei’s glinting eyes wishing for the words to leave his mouth.

“Kei…”

Akaashi leans away from Bokuto, and eyes them searchingly.

Stupid words, stupid Akaashi, stupid Bokuto.

Kei sighs and takes Kuroo’s hand.

“Come, let me finish you off.”

Kuroo can only nod as Kei leads him to the bathroom, his head filling with Kei’s soft voice and unsaid words.

\---

Kei pushes Kuroo against the stall, one hand holding Kuroo’s arms above his head and the other sliding the lock over the door.

  
He gently places his fingers on the edge of Kuroo’s jaw and presses their lips together softly; Kuroo melting against Kei’s thin lips, his arms straining against the taller man’s hold.

  
Kei tastes like sugar and lemons, Kuroo’s tongue darting out for more, more, _more_ because Kei tastes better than Akaashi’s mint lips ever will.

“Mm, Kei I don't remember how much I drank or what even but holy fuck you taste be--”

“Shut up.” 

Kuroo freezes in mid-sentence, swallowing hard.

Kei slowly pulls back from Kuroo’s lips, letting his bottom lip catch in his teeth before settling his gaze on Kuroo.

"Please." 

_[There are words]_

Kuroo stares _._

_[Words that would take each and every insecurity from your aching mind]_

How many times has he opened his mouth, only to revel in the silence? 

[and burn them to such a fine crisp that the wind would leave nothing of its existence.]

Kei sighs, irritation smoothing out into something unfeeling, and slides down to unbuckle Kuroo’s belt.


	2. Chapter 2

Akaashi groans quietly, blinking against the light falling starkly through the blinds. He lays in silence, following the dust motes as they blink in and out of their fleeting existence.

He closes his eyes and listens to the soft breaths leaving the slumbering figure at his side.

He doesn't feel particularly tired, though not quite awake either. 

He hums softly, floating in his small universe of sleep.

Akaashi inhales sharply and opens his mouth in a silent yawn, his back arching, a bar table digging into his lower back and bottom lip being pulled into a warm, wet mouth, a towering pale face washed in electric blues and cut with sharp blacks.

Akaashi breathes out heavily as waves of pleasure course through him, over him, his hands finding their way over his face and into his hair, slipping down to rub at his eyes and curling lightly at his stomach.

  
He glances at the sleeping form next to him and is holds his breath, help by Koutarou's long lashes, resting delicately on soft skin, a sleeping pink blush decorating his cheekbones.

Akaashi's gaze falls down the strong jaw and traces the bruises peppering Koutarou’s neck.

His thoughts drift to last night and his body warms at the thought of fingers trailing down his arm, his lips pressing softly against anothers neck. He bites his lip when he thinks of tongues, slipping and sliding across his hot skin.

He swears under his breath when words whispered the night prior drift over his skin, dropping lower, into places that make Akaashi clench his hands into fists.

He is pulled from his thoughts when a small whimper reaches his ears.

“...kaashi...akaaaashi…”

Koutarou sings softly in his sleep, swallowing and moving his head against his pillow.

Akaashi starts to giggles, softly at first and then in fits, throwing his arm across his eyes. A funny feeling blooming in his chest, he shifts closer and moves a hand gently through Koutarou's hair and stops at his neck, presses his lips to his beautiful owls forehead.

He mumbles a soft, “I love you.” before pulling back to find large golden eyes staring sleepily up at him.

Something sweet washes over Akaashi and he finds it hard to breathe, enticed to place small kisses on Kotarou’s cheeks and lips and nose; Kou laughs, deep and gravelly. He pulls Akaashi towards him with strong arms, nuzzling into Akaashi’s neck, pressing his mouth on his skin and murmuring words of soft affection.

After a few moment of laying under the dancing motes Bokuto takes Akaashi’s hand.

“Did Tsukki and Kuroo get home safely?”

Kou’s voice is deliciously low with sleep and it takes Akaashi a moment for his words to make sense.

“Uh...yeah…”

Kou hums in response and squeezes Akaashi’s hand.

  
Akaashi tries to remember if they left with Kuroo and Tsukki and can’t seem to recall.

“Actually...I’m not sure, I think we left before them.”

A memory of Kuroo’s panicked face and Tsukki’s hard eyes surface in Akaashi’s mind and he sits up.

“Kou, I think they were fighting…they left t—to the bathroom? And...after...after…”

Everything surfaces at once, words trip and tumble over each other as he tries to remember something-- _anything._

Bokuto rubs his back and reaches over to grab his phone from the night table.

“Hey, Kaash, calm down, I'm sure they're okay,”

Kou dials Kuroo's number and puts it on speaker as it rings.

“I hope everything is okay...Kou, I was so tired and--”

“Keiji, everything's fine.”

Akaashi anchors himself to Koutarou’s firm words, settling his head on the other man’s shoulder.

His call goes to voicemail and Akaashi glances up at Bokuto, whose brows have bunched together.

Akaashi tries with his phone but is met with the same automated message.

He hangs up before the tone and startles when Kou speaks into his phone.

“Kuroo! Hey, are you okay?"

Akaashi scrambles over to Koutarou and he puts the phone on speakerphone.

Kuroo is sobbing into the phone, breathing shakily, his words drowned under his cries.

“Kuroo, hey, babe--”

Kuroo starts crying harder.

“Shit, bro I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please stop crying.”

He hands the phone to Akaashi, his eyes blown wide and lips turned down in a silent plea.

“Can you tell us where you are, Kuroo?” Akaashi whispers softly into the phone.

Akaashi soothes Kuroo over the phone, letting Kuroo cry until he takes a deep, shuddering breath and swallowing softly speaks.

“Home, I’m home...me and K--Tsukishima are…”

Kuroo chokes and a low noise of despair is heard through the phone.

Akaashi’s hands cover his mouth, his narrow shoulders pulled up against his chest that no longer works.

“We’re...taking a break.”

Kuroo manages before hanging up.

Koutarou meets Akaashi’s stunned gaze, his bright owl eyes squinted with rage calming only when he sees Akaashi’s eyes shimmer with tears.

Akaashi’s gaze hardens.

“Get dressed, Koutarou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a short chapter :(  
> Tumblr: @kageyamaotori (hq/vld/yoi) 
> 
> @kageotori  
> (Main)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh i know its not a lot but please enjoy!!

Akaashi rests his head on the bottom of the open window and gazes out. He lets the wind weave in and out of his hair, cold and soothing on his skin. It was a small escape--almost a type of selfish relief even--when the wind seemed to whisk his mind away from his thoughts. Away until he is returned to them, brought back by their impatience. 

“Isn’t it kind of sudden, all of this?” He murmurs suddenly against the car, opening his eyes and tracing the hard ridges making the space just beneath the window.

“What is?”

“You know,  _this_.”

“ _This_? We've been dating for two years, Kaash.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes, a smile hinting his lips as he reaches over to flick Bokuto’s ear. Laughing, Bokuto leans away from him and sticks his tongue out the side of his mouth, risking a glance to look at Akaashi cheekily. 

“You suck, Kou, you know that?”

 “Yeah, your dick.”

Akaashi sighs as Bokuto cackles--or rather-- _hoots._ Akaashi eventually gives in and laughs along with Bokuto, resting his face in the crook of his elbow because _god,_ this amount of stupidity shouldn’t make him feel giddy.

Their laughter dies down and with their conversation left unfinished a soft silence settles between them, leaving Akaashi to tend the thoughts the wind had failed to keep him from.

Akaashi has an idea of what made Tsukishima do what he did. He isn't sure and maybe it was just some sudden I'm-new-to-this-relationship-thing-I'll-get-over-it kind of thing anyway. Its just...he can't help but remember all the times at the café they liked to frequent when Tsukishima's golden eyes would flit over Bokuto's skin. How, regardless if he saw any marks or not, his hand would tighten around Kuroo's; a sort of desperateness he seemed to have only when he and Bokuto were present. Like he was scared—of what? Losing Kuroo? How could he _not_ see the way Kuroo gazed at him, the way he doted and gushed and just _wouldn't_ stop talking about Tsukishima this, Tsukkishima that? How c—

“No,” Bokuto answers softly, jarring Akaashi from his thoughts.

Akaashi turns his head curiously, following his boyfriend’s fingers as they begin to tap a steady rhythm on the steering wheel.

“At least, I don’t think it was sudden.”

“Hm, why's that?”

Bokuto shrugs and slows at a stoplight, using it as a moment to look over at Akaashi.

“Well...Kuroo kind of acts on instinct, you know? And he doesn’t like thinking things over because it frustrates him and he gets angry so easily..." 

He worries the bottom of his lip and glances at the light.

"...And uh, I’m not really sure about Tsukki but he just seems like he thinks too much and it just eats away at him so...I guess yesterday was kind of a breaking point? Like whatever they were mad about was something small but everything else kind of just, I don't know, followed behind it?”

Akaashi nods.

"You think they'll get over it?" Akaashi asks.

Bokuto shrugs and starts driving when the light changes.

"Hopefully."

Akaashi doesn't find himself answering.  

\--- 

They were sitting in the car, parked in front of Kuroo’s apartment yet neither had to make a move to leave. Akaashi takes a deep breath to steady himself. 

"You know, I'm actually kind of pissed off."

His voice sounds light to his ears.

"Yeah?"  

Akaashi doesn’t have to look at Bokuto to know he has an eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t it seem that  Kuroo kind of...‘set’ himself up for this?”

Bokuto shifts in his seat to face Akaashi better. His expression is concerned and Akaashi can’t say he likes it. 

“Kaash…”

Akaashi releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Just hear me out, okay?”

He nods slowly and waits for Akaashi to continue.

“I don’t know--it’s just…who _is_ Tsukki, anyway?”

Akaashi's hands clench and he purses his lips, trying to find the right words to explain the ones already said. He stairs pointedly at his lap.

“It’s just...we were doing so well, Kou. Just the three of us and right when...right when we were gonna ask him to…” 

Akaashi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, trying not to think of something he should of let go of by now. He hears Bokuto exhale faintly and he wants to look at him but can’t find the strength to look turn his head.

“And he brings this egoistic, apathetic blonde _asshole_ that he claims he loves? And what? Expects us to love him too? I mean, look where that got him!” 

"Keiji," Bokuto warns. 

“He set himself up to get hurt and you know it! I’ve tried-- _fuck_ , I’ve tried  _so_ hard to be happy for him but I…I can’t."

He closes his eyes, his fingernails digging into his palm. Why is he finding a bit harder to breathe?

Shakily he continues, “I-I know he hurt you too and I still don’t-- _can’t_ fathom how you could be so okay with it,” 

His body is trembling and the seat belt is too constricting and the car is too small and why his chest so heavy and Bokuto’s gaze is so very hot on his body and suddenly the seat belt slides off his body and there are arms around him and pulling him on a lap and against a firm chest. 

“S-sorry.” he gasps and tries to pull away but is quieted by a tightening of arms and a soft press of lips against his.

“Breathe with me.” Bokuto says in his hair and Akaashi listens to the rise and fall of his boyfriend’s chest, trying to match it with his erratic ones.

Bokuto slides his hands up and down his back while whispering word--words so sweet and kind and just so completely _loving_ that Akaashi finds himself smiling as tears trail down his face. 

After what feels like a few moments Bokuto pulls away and rests his hands on either sides of Akaashi’s face. 

“Good?” 

Akaashi nods and opens his mouth apologize again, then finds himself stopping.

 _“You can apologize if it makes you feel better but I need you to know that never once has comforting you been an inconvenience for me.”_  

“Thanks, Kou.”

Bokuto smiles as he slides his thumbs against Akaashi’s cheeks. He leans up and presses his lips to Akaashi’s forehead.

“It hurts me too, you know.” he murmurs as he sits back. 

Akaashi raises his eyes to meet Bokuto’s. 

“I just figured if I keep telling myself that it makes him happy then the hurt would go away.”

Bokuto blinks quickly and Akaashi’s hands find their way into Bokuto’s hair, soothing him by dragging his fingers back and forth until Bokuto’s eyes close and he opens his mouth to continue.

“He still loves us, Akaashi.”

“I know.” 

Akaashi’s phone buzzes and he reaches into his pocket to check.

His eyes widen and he looks up to Bokuto, turning the phone to show him the screen.

**Tsukki**

_Come find me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll edit it more later, sorry for taking so long to update :(


	4. Chapter 4

_“Kei, I_ _love_ _you. Please, pl--”_

_(I want to love you too)_

_“Is that all you can do? Say you love me and beg? You know who else you love?”_

_Kei scoffs._

_In his mind, clear like the cold anger surging through him-- are the two men that outshine him._

_Outshine him in everything that Kei can think of. They are everything Kei cannot be, they are everything Kei wants to be. And they grew to love the man sobbing at his feet. Yet this man, this flawed, beautiful man chose instead to run away and find a distraction._

_Tsukishima Kei._

_A distraction._

_A mistake._

_“I can’t do this, Kuroo. Not anymore.”_

_(I can, Tetsurou. I'm just weak.)_

_“Are we done?"_ _Tetsurou asks quietly._

_(“No, Tetsurou.”)_

_“I don’t know, Kuroo.”_

_Kei catches the way Tetsurou’s eyes widen and fall. Watches the way his body slump and his features smooth out into something unfeeling and dull._

_(That face so familiar, except with freckles.)_

_Kei turns to the door._  

_“Kei…”_

_So quiet and broken, like the shards of glass too small to pick up._

_He sighs._

_He looks back over his shoulder._

_He smirks._

_Such an insignificant tilt of the lips._

_Such a dangerous mask for weakness._

_“Pathetic.”_

_He walks out, breathes in deeply._

_(So weak.)_

_Behind him a man screams._

_(If he could describe the sound, surely he would break.)_

_Then comes the sound of something crashing to the floor._  

_(Go back to him.)_

_Kei runs._

_\---_  

Kei stands in front of an apartment door.

Not his.

Not the man’s he left screaming.

His head rests against the wood, his fingers dragging along the waxed surface.

“Tadashi, please.” he chokes.

But there is no one home.

There hasn’t been since the funeral.

Yamaguchi Tadashi.

His head already flooded with thoughts, overflow with memories.

His warmth and love so constant--so _bright._

Tadashi Yamaguchi.

His first friend, his first home, his first love. A love that surpassed touch; instead defined by late night conversations and silent company. In hugs and kisses and entwining of fingers and laughs--Kei can still hear his laugh. Love that was defined in lost and found pride--in triumph and loss and everything in between.

Tadashi was the stars adorned in Kei’s skies, the freckles that adorned his body.

(Such pretty freckles.)

Tadashi’s dark thoughts were the streaks of light in Kei’s night sky, the cuts that streaked his body.

 (Such ugly scars.)

“Tadashi…" 

Words could not describe Tadashi Yamaguchi.

How does one describe the indescribable?

Kei slides down to the floor.

“I miss you, Yamaguchi.” he whispers.

His body heaves.

“Tadashi, I _need_ you.”

 (Tadashi needed you, but where were you?)

(Tetsurou needs you, will you ignore him too?)

 (Shame, another one you couldn’t save.)

Kei stills.

He stares at the blank wall in front of him.

And for the first time since he heard of the things Tadashi did to himself, he cries.

He _sobs._

\--- 

Tsukishima doesn’t know how long it has been. The neighbors speak gently; ask if he wants tea or food--just like all of the other times when he sat in this exact spot and stares. 

He refuses.

He stands and somehow finds his way outside. He squints in the light--he could have sworn it was nightime when he first came. He finds his way to a bench, exhausted and slides his phone out of his pocket, bringing out the slender earbuds with it. 

He eyes the missed calls and notifications and ignores them.

He plays his music--out of habit more than anything.

He rests his finger on the side of his phone to close it but finds himself pausing.

 

 **_To:_ ** **Akaashi Keiji**

  
_Come find me._

 

Kei increases the volume of his music and closes his eyes. 

_\---_

Kei feels a presence in front of him and his eyes open slowly, eyes flashing tiredly at the man in front of him.

He registers the silk hair, brooding jade eyes.

The clouds drift and the world mutes.

Kei did not believe that there existed many men more intimidating than him. 

Yet peering up at this figure, Kei is at a loss of words.

A wind races between them, ruffles the man’s hair and bites at his clothes. Kei fights a shiver from racing down his body.

Tsukishima Kei seems to be caught in a storm. 

A _presence._

The man, in a voice Kei can only describe as lightning: 

“I've found you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s o r r y 
> 
> (just to clarify, kei and yams were not in a romantic relationship.)
> 
> (yamaguchi is my babe i was shaking while i wrote this fff)
> 
> (Feedback really helps thank you all for the kind comments <333)


	5. Chapter 5

Akaashi takes a seat next to Kei and stares somewhere behind his head. Then, as if Kei said something funny he smiles and starts to laugh. Throwing his head back, he sighs and follows the clouds drifting lazily across the sky.

His eyes fall close and Kei stares incredulously at the resting man in front of him.

“Tell me Tsukishima, what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?” Akaashi murmurs softly.

Taken aback he sputters out his response,"S-strawbery.”

Akaashi smiles and pushes off the bench and extends a hand to Kei. He almost ignores the gesture until he catches the steely glint lighting Akaashi’s eyes.

Kei places his hand in Akaashi’s long, slender fingers and the latter pulls him up, smiling slightly.

Kei follows Akaashi as he leads them down a rocky path, deeper into the park. Since neither of them make a move to break the silence Kei tilts his head to the trees, shifting gently in the breeze. He follows he creatures in the sky because they're easier to understand than the one walking leisurely in front of him. But eventually, when the birds drift away and the shifting trees incessant whispers lead his eyes to drop. Even from behind, you can appreciate his body. The light plays patterns on the thin hoodie, falling sharply down his shoulder blades and skipping down the curve of his back--and thats where Kei turns his head. He thinks of Tetsurou making playful comments about Akaashi’s beautiful body. The amused and affectionate smile returned used to make Kei bite the insides of his cheek and curl his hand tighter in Tetsurou’s grasp. When Tetsurou would squeeze back, a small knot would unwind and breathing--even if only a little--was easier.

The sound of children and the faint tune of an ice cream cart brings Kei back to Akaashi’s gleaming face.

The children chatter excitedly and pull their parents towards the song drifting nicely across the park.

“Ready?” Akaashi asks, glancing to Kei and tilting his head.

“Hu--hey!”

Akaashi takes off, a bubbly laugh following him and a sound that sounds akin to either Bokuto or an owl.

Some of the children stop momentarily to watch the grown man sprint off and then do the same. Kei sighs, slipping his phone into his pocket  and runs after the hooting man sprinting across the park to an ice-cream truck.

\---

Kei easily outruns the children, screaming happily behind each other and away from their parent’s protests. When he reaches the white and childishly decorated cart he rests his hand on his knees, catching his breathe and his thoughts, since they didn't seem to be making  sense since Akaashi joined him. When his breathing steadied somewhat he lifts his head to see Akaashi accepting two cones,of ice cream, thanking the man breathlessly and handing the strawberry one to Kei.

Kei accepts it hesitantly and dips his head to lick the cold ice-cream. The bottom of his mouth tingles and he wais for it to subside until taking another lick.

He makes sound of  satisfaction unintentionally and Akaashi chuckles.

“Good?”

Kei looks up suddenly and reaches into his back pockets, only to find them empty.

“Akaashi, let me pay you back.”

Akaashi shakes his head and licks his vanilla cone.

“Of course not.”

“I--”

“Hush--let’s find somewhere to sit.”

Silenced and really,  _really_ , confused, Kei finds a picnic table and they sit across from each other, eating quietly at their ice-cream.

Akaashi seems subdued, tracing the patterns in the wood with the tip of his finger.

“Do you hate me?”

Akaashi eyes flick up to Kei’s at his outburst. The light refracts inside his eyes pure and jade cut. Truly, they were eyes infinitely intricate than his own.

“Why would I?”

Kei surges up and brings his face close to Akaashi’s.

“Do I?” he seethes, “look stupid to you?”

But Akaashi only looks at his Kei’s hands, which are clutched around his now demolished ice-cream cone. It drips between his fingers and falls onto the table, slipping into the thin lines of wood. Akaashi gets up but turns and stops when Kei starts talking.

“W-why did you do all of this for me? Right now? W-what the _fuck_ \--”

The sticky ice-cream, Akaashi’s kind behavior to him, the night of crying, the fight, the feelings, the thoughts all come to the surface, suffocating-- _awful._

_Kei is furious._

He stands and throws the mess of whatever it was to the ground and closes the distance between them.

They glare at each other, almost funny with Akaashi’s hand wrapped around the ice-cream and Kei’s hands covered in it.

Akaashi breaks the tensions first, speaking slowly, “Koutarou and I called Kuroo this morning,"

_How was he?_

"He was sobbing and screaming and hurt--I'm sure you would know,"

Kei flinches at the coldness and takes a step back.

“And on the way I got a text from the very _last_ person I wanted to see.”

Akaashi steps forward.

“And yet, I came here, to you,”

He presses a finger to Kei’s chest.

“Why? Not so that you owe me or because I’m nice or _god forbid--_ because I _care_ about you,”

“It’s because Kuroo gives half a damn for your sorry ass _and to hell_ am I going to let you walk away leaving him like that.”

“Why was I nice to you, why did I buy you ice-cream? Because I saw you sitting there and I remembered how draining fights are,”

He lowers his voice.

“I remembered just how much love sucks and how annoying, and hard, and crushing it all is and I knew then that even you don’t deserve something like that.”

Kei looks to his feet as Akaashi  looks away and brings his bottom lip between his teeth.

Then, ”I don't hate you, Tsukki.”

His use of Kei’s nickname makes Kei look up again.

“It’s just…”

“I was a distraction.” Kei blurts.

Akaashi raises a brow and tilts his head. “Is that what you think?”

Kei’s face contorts, “What's  _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Do you think that everything Kuroo has done for you was because you were a distraction?”

Now Kei sees the fury slowly spreading through Akaashi's body.

“Do you think that Kuroo ceaselessly gushing about how beautiful and intelligent and caring you are is because you were a distraction?”

“Do you think that all the “Sorry, I’m hanging out with Kei, maybe later babe?”'s is because you were a distraction?”

“Do you _think_  that all the “I'll love him forever, Akaashi."'s spit in my face is because you were a _distraction?”_

With each question directed at Kei, Akaashi’s voice rises and Kei feels his chest--what is it? This familiar feeling of caving and falling--

“I don't hate you,Tsukishima,”

  
“But _oh_ , am I starting to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gah sorry for short chapter ty for reading my loves


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the last chapter didn't end v well so here's this

_Fuck._

Tsukishima gazes at him with wide broken eyes, parted lips.

Keiji wanted him to say something.  For him to yell at him, hit him, _something_ , so he wasn’t looking at him like that.

Keiji takes several steps back, looking at the sky, the trees, the dripping ice cream down his hands, anything except the man in front of him.

“Tsukishima, I’m _so sorry.”_

Keiji’s voice trembles because _oh fuck what did he just say? What did he do?_

“I didn’t mean any of th--”

Tsukishima laughs loudly, dripping with scorn.

“If that isn’t bullshit, I don’t know what is.”

Tsukishima’s face smooths over and he straightens to his full height.

“You can have him, Akaashi,”

Tsukishima smiles lightly, politely, as if Keiji had complimented his shirt.

“I don’t think he was mine to begin with, to be honest.” He adds airily and turns to leave.

_Away._

“No.”

Tsukishima keeps walking.

“Come back, Tsukishima, _dammit,_ come _back_ here, _please._ ”

Keiji exhales heavily and after a moment's thought, drops his cone next to Tsukishima's and sprints after the tall blonde.

When he catches up to Tsukishima he puts a hand on his shoulder. Tsukishima stops walking and Keiji moves to step in front of him but he turns his head, roughly wiping his arms across his eyes.

Even if it was just a moment, Tsukishima’s distorted features stand clear in his mind.

Tsukishima levels Keiji with an even gaze. Blank and unresponsive.

Keiji gulps and opens his mouth to say all the explanations, all the words, and all the feelings swirling around Keiji's mind.

Why was it, that words seem to slip out better when he was angry?

Something races behind them, large with shimmering golden eyes.

“Kou--?”

“Bo--?”

Akaashi and Tsukishima both cut short when they see the tears streaming down Koutarou’s face.

“I w-was trying to f-find you guys...I was looking everywhere and I couldn’t find you I and-- _oh,_ Keiji,”

His eyes flick between him and Tsukishima, panicked and shining.

When Keiji moves to wrap his arms around Koutarou he steps back and shakes his head, distressed.

“Koutaro--”

“He’s not at home,”

Koutarou whispers shakily and sniffles.

“I knocked and knocked and no one was answering and a-and then I realized that it was unlocked and so I walked in and everything was broken and it was such a mess and K-kuroo was _nowhere_ and he wasn’t picking up his phone and I-I didn’t know what to do so I came here again and I couldn’t find you guys and the ice-cream man asked if I wanted ice-cream and I said no and I asked him if--if he saw you guys and he said and th-then it’s now.”

Koutarou takes a big breath and exhales slowly.

“We need to find him.” He adds softly.

“What are we waiting for?” Keiji and Koutarou look up at Tsukishima, his hands clenched and trembling.

“Let’s go.” He says and for the third time that day he turns and starts to walk away.

_Towards._

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your comments!!! so great and helpful!!! I love hearing your opinions and thoughts (though I hope i didnt make anyone angry ._.) and will answer them when I can (such long comments need lengthy responses u know) so tysm, honestly <3
> 
> (also one day i might just combine chapters since theyre so short lmao)
> 
> (also i hope you don't think bad of my bbs theyre all just v v v hurt and sad)
> 
> And yes yes, there a lot of things overdue (back stories and dev w/ kuroo and bo bc atm theyre kinda flat) but im getting there!!! ty for reading, hopefully i wont disappoint ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Tetsurou knew where he was going. He didn’t feel like thinking of anything else--he didn’t think he could. So instead he focused on the gentle suburbia, slowly melting into endless metal skylines. Ironically, the place he wanted to go was a bit of an oasis in the desert of lights and commotion; it was an escape he had sought for constantly in his time in the city.

It was one of those places that were tucked snugly in the cracks of the city; the ones only found out from light chatter and aimless wanderings. The quiet place you find yourself drawn to countless of times, whether for the aesthetic, food, or peaceful ambiance. And as of now, he found himself drawn to it more than ever. 

He arrived shortly, spending a few minutes to find parking and then began to make his way to the outdoor cafe.

The start of the alleyway was adorned with small shrubs and a sign naming the quaint arrangement as the Tea Garden. Unlit lanterns criss-crossing between the walls of the adjacent buildings brought Tetsurou a familiar comfort he could rarely find anywhere else. The wooden tables lined the edges of the ivy-snaked alleyway as they always were, each gently adorned with flowering jasmine. The small pink vases holding the perfumed flowers were surrounded by tea lights, ones that would play patterns on the rough wood during the night. Tetsurou entered while the sun dipped beneath the buildings, just in time to see the lights flicker on, illuminating the alleyway with a soft, warm glow. He smiles and drags his fingertips along the chairs, making his way to the wooden counter at the back wall.

“Good eve--oh, Tetsurou.” A small voice floats across the alleyway in greeting. Tetsurou’s gaze lifts to meet large golden eyes peering from the behind the dimly lit booth.

“Kozume--” Tetsurou responds softly, his voice cracking noticeably.

“How are you?” He wished his voice was louder.

“You guys are opening right now right?”

Kozume nods silently, putting down the cup he was wiping and exits the booth, reaching Tetsurou in several steps. He pulls out a chair for Tetsurou and sits in the one across from it, waiting patiently for him to speak. Heavily Tetsurou accepts the open seat and leans his head back on the seat, sighing loudly. His gaze jumps from the underside of one lantern to the other, not yet ready to talk.

His eyes drift to the darkening sky, warm and dull. Drifting listlessly in the foreground were the clouds; they were wispy, not unlike cotton candy and peachy in color. A warm breeze drifts over the alleyway and the lanterns sway on their cords, trailed by twinkling wind chimes and distant car horns. Tetsurou feels his eyes slipping shut, the oh-so-familiar city lulling him into a gentle slumber.

“Kozume, I’m _so_ tired.” His voice is slurred, slipping just past his parted lips and-- _god_ he can’t remember the last time he felt like this. Spent, drained, empty, tired, blue--the words flitted aimlessly around his mind.

“Kenma-san~” A sunny voice sings from the front of the alleyway and Tetsurou lifts his head to find a tall man with a shock of orange-red hair. The man contrasted deeply with his mellow surroundings and Tetsurou found himself squinting at the bright man. At his side was an even taller man with blue eyes, hooded down in what looked like boredom.  

“Hinata-kun.” Kozume greets politely, brushing a lock of blonde hair that had fallen from the loosely piled hair at the back of his head.

“Sorry I was a bit late, Kenma-san, I was at Tobio’s game and we went out for some drinks--haha. He was so good, Kenma! Oh Kenma, my _wonderful_ Tobio did absolutely perfect! His sets went _swoosh_ and _bam,_ Ushiwaka-kun would just _slam_ the ball down~” The man sighs dreamily and leans into the man next to him, blushing furiously. Amused, Tetsurou studied the man closely. His dark hair fell over his deep-ocean eyes and tapered at the sides. His thin lips were pulled down slightly in a neutral frown. _Tobio_. No, it couldn’t be. Yet the familiar frown, dark eyes that sang precision--even through TV screens--and the taped slender fingers all proved him otherwise.

The pro-athlete mumbles a hello to both of them and bends slightly. He turns to Kozume and smiles apologetically.

“He didn’t drink too much, just a bit..uh, lively. I’m sorry, he insisted for drinks and I...couldn’t refuse.” His voice was gentle, trailing off to look down fondly at the man nuzzling his chest. The latter’s large doe-eyes blink open and he leans up to press a soft kiss against the setter’s lips. Parting, he makes his way to the booth. Looking over his shoulder he smiles brightly and winks. “I’ll see you at home, _Tobio_.”

Mumbling a hurried response the man turns to leave, a pink blush blooming on the tops of his cheeks and ears. Something sharp and painful streaks Tetsurou’s chest and he looks away and down at his fingers, curled tightly in his lap.

“It’s been years and I still can’t fathom how you can still make him blush like that.” Kozume comments as he plays lazily with the unlit tea lights. Chuckling lightly Hinata grabs an apron and starts to tie it around his slim waist.

“Me neither, Kenma-san, me neither...” Then looking at Tetsurou he smiles, almost too bright for the alleyway.

“And _you_ must be Kuroo-kun, the childhood friend Kenma-san just _can’t_ stop talking about.”

Tetsurou opens his mouth, the edges of his lips tilting upwards in mild amusement when Kozume interrupts.

“Complaining, is the right word Hinata-kun.”

Tetsurou’s pout earns a bubbly laugh from the ginger, who immediately begins to tend to the machines, probably to make up for his lateness.The bright barista now busy with work, Kozume’s attention drifts back to Tetsurou. He takes a moment to study the way the lanterns illuminate Kozume’s feline-like eyes from above, almost glowing in the semi-darkness.

“Talk to me, Tetsurou.”

He exhales lightly, pursing his lips into a thin line.

“I don’t want to.”

Kozume stares at Tetsurou, eyes flicking to the steady stream of customers entering the alleyway.

“Okay.” He pushes back from the table as Tetsurou lets his head fall onto the table, comforted by the muffled darkness. Kozume places a hand on his shoulder and leans down, his words warm and ticklish on Tetsurou’s ears.

“You need to talk to me, okay? It doesn’t have to be right now but promise me that you will.”

He nods in reply, burrowing deeper into his arms. Kozume straightens, affectionately sliding his fingers across Tetsurou’s back.

“I’m gonna make you something to drink. The cookies are almost done, too so you can have one of those. When was the last time you ate, anyway?”

Tetsurou doesn't answer and instead turns his head to look up at Kozume.

“Are they shaped liked cats?”

“They are, you dork.”

“Nice.”

Kozume smiles one of his small smiles and Tetsurou feels at ease.

“After eating, you’re putting on an apron and lighting these tea lights and helping Hinata-kun take orders, okay?”

Tetsurou frowns, opening his mouth to complain, albeit halfheartedly, when Kozume continues, softer this time.

“You like distractions, don’t you?”

Tetsurou nods slightly. He couldn’t argue with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey!! i hope u enjoyed this, i'm planning on continuing this scene next, which will hopefully clear lots of things up. Again, sorry the chapters are so short! I found that i'm less overwhelmed when I write in small portions. Thank you so so so much for reading!! <3


	8. Chapter 8

The sun peeks over the horizon when Tetsurou sits on the counter, wiping his brow with a huff.

He eyes the last few customers as they get up to leave, holding hands and walking out. The two of them whisper in tired conversation, so adorable and envious. Hinata-kun--and Tetsurou has not _one_ clue on how--smiles brightly and thanks them for coming with as just as much energy as he did with the first few customers. After leaving he closes the gates and sighs, throwing a towel over his shoulder and smiles softly at Tetsurou from across the alleyway.

“How was a day working at the Tea Garden for you, huh, wild hair-kun?”

Tetsurou laughs tiredly, gravelly and deep.

“It was...nice.”

HInata-kun hums and begin to blow out the tea lights, making sure not to spill the clear, melted wax. Tetsurou gets up to help him and revels in the muffled silence. Those silences you could only really find as the sun stretches it’s slumbering arms and starts to paint the sky in gentle oranges and blues; the pale pinks and lavender clouds, gently swirled with practiced ease. Tetsurou blows softly on the candles, following the trail of smoke as it rises and dissipates. He wonders why something so bright and _alive_ could be so fragile. Ephemeral. The red, yellow, and oranges of the now gone flame melt and merge into pale hair and pale eyes and soft lips and long fingers and breathless laughs and hurried kisses and strong hips and heavy words, loud words, unspoken words--he stops short when he feels Hinata-kun’s gentle hand on his shoulder, pushing him down onto a chair. Tetsurou stares up at his rosy lips lifted into a gentle smile and wonders why his small hands were coming up to wipe his face; why they pulled back, dripping with clear tears and _oh, he was crying._

“You seem to have a lot on your mind, Kuroo-kun.”

“I..yeah,” Tetsurou wipes his face on his sleeve.

“Being in love with three men and managing to make all of them hate you seems to be doing the trick.” He laughs and his face twists with a fresh wave of tears.

“I messed up so bad…” He murmurs into the breeze, sweeping into the alleyway with a gentle calmness he wish could brush the insides of his aching head.

Hinata-kun looks softly down at him, shoving his hands into his apron’s pocket and looks for a way to comfort the crying man.  

“Sounds rough.” he manages, quietly.

Tetsurou snorts.

“Yeah...”

“Oikawa-san, the other setter on Tobio’s team dated the ace on his team, Ushijima-kun, to make his old ace from highschool jealous....”

Tetsurou looks up at the man and realizes with a surge of warmth, that Hinata-kun was trying to distract him from his thoughts.

“Oh?” Tetsurou gives him a small smile, wiping his tears again and urging Hinata to go on.

“Oh...well, when the ace they have right now found out, he refused to let him set for him for weeks!”

Tetsurou quirks a brow and lean forwards, resting his elbows on his thighs and balancing his chin on his knuckles.

“Wow.”

Hinata widens his eyes to say _yeah, right?!_

“Then, his ace from highschool, who is also was his best friend since childhood, found out and they had a big fight and Oikawa-san wouldn’t come to practice a while after that. At least, that’s what everyone says…”

Hinata plays with his bottom lip as if debating to continue or not.

“They all say Oikawa-san is this horrible person that used Ushijima-kun for his own benefit but…”

Hinata shrugs, his pale brows coming into the center of his forehead.

“Yeah?” Tetsurou encourages.

“Oikawa-san is the type of person that is really perceptive of his surroundings and it makes him quite sensitive to people--even though he doesn’t show it too often. And so...I think that even though a lot of people would say that Oikawa isn’t above what he did, I don’t particularly think that’s true...”

“Why did he use Ushijima-san to make his friend jealous, then?” Tetsurou asks.

“I think Oikawa-san was trying to cope with his feelings."

"He was trying so hard to forget about what he felt for his friend that he ended up immersing himself into another relationship without considering the consequences. And while he was trying to fall out of love, I think he fell in love.”

Tetsurou blinks and swallows thickly.

_And while he was trying to fall out of love, I think he fell in love._

“That makes sense…” Tetsurou answers, trailing off weakly.

Hinata smiles gently and looks at his feet, digging the tip of his sneakers into the gravel.

The silence stretches between them, both of them lost in thought.

“Hinata-kun?”

Hinata looks up.

“Uh...does...Ushijima-san hate Oikawa-san?”

Hinata bites his lip and huffs, “I...don’t know,”

“There used to be this _light_ that they both used to have--in their eyes.”

Hinata smiles and laughs a little, reliving the moment to describe it properly.

“It was this _look_ in both of their eyes, like they would steal all the stars from the sky for each other." 

"...I imagine it feels something similar to when Tobio would set to me in highschool." He says softly, a soft blush covering the freckles on the bridge of his nose and cheeks. 

“You could see it from the exact moment the ball would touch Oikawa-san's fingertips and up until it made contact with Ushijima’s palm and went straight through the other team’s defenses with such _ease._ It was like nothing I've ever seen."

 _“It was_...” Tetsurou echoes.

Hinata-kun nods and continues softly.

“It’s not there anymore.”

 _[Ephemeral,_ _to last for a very short time.]_

Tetsurou slumps back into his chair. He burrows his face into his hands and groans, dragging his fingernails into his scalp.

“I...hope I didn’t upset you.” Hinata-kun blurts. Tetsurou peeks at him through his fingers to see him twisting his hands further into his pockets, bringing his shoulders up in apprehension.

Tetsurou sighs and brings his hands down.

“No, Hinata-kun. Thank you for talking to me.”

Hinata smiles, unconvinced and shifts from foot to foot.

“Really though, please tell me if--”

Tetsurou stands and envelops the smaller man in a hug. Slowly, Hinata-kun’s small arms wrap around Tetsurou’s waist. He giggles softly.

“Wow, I must have messed up bad.”

Tetsurou laughs warmly and squeezes tightly.

“I’m sorry...I just...really need this.”

Hinata-kun hums and nuzzles his face into Tetsurou’s chest.

“Don’t worry Kuroo-kun, I won’t tell Tobio.”

“Thanks.” Tetsurou answers dryly, though it comes out more tender than he meant it to.

“Oi, what are you, a homewrecker?”

Kozume calls from the behind the counter.

Tetsurou isn’t sure if it’s the sheer exhaustion or the bright warmth that starts to curl through his body but he laughs as he imagines Kozume smiling and shaking his head gently. Tetsurou brings giggling boy, shaking gently in his arms, deeper into his desperate embrace. He sighs as the sun finally shows it’s face, masking it’s breathtaking work with it’s own unparalleled beauty.   

 

\---

 

“Talk.”

Tetsurou stretches theatrically over Kozume’s worn couch and yawns loudly, relishing the cracking of his joints as they entice deep, satisfied moans. He breathes in deeply and exhales, long and heavy. He hums softly and turns his body to face the couch, numbly gazing at the familiar crisscrossing of the rough, grey material.

“But Kozume, I’m _tired_.” He whines softly, pouting, even though he was facing the couch.

Kozume grumbles unintelligently and Tetsurou hears him walk away to the small kitchen, separated from the living room by a marble counter. He hears the clatter of dishes and the noise of a machine being turned on.

After a while, the sound of boiling water and the smell of coffee permeates the air, causing Tetsurou to breathe in deeply and nuzzles deeper into the couch.

_Home._

_The only one he knew he would never lose._

Tetsurou hears Kozume pad towards him, paired with the thud of mugs and coasters hitting the glass table.

“Tired my ass, drink the coffee and talk.”

Tetsurou turns his head to peek over his shoulder, smirking at Kozume’s raised brow. Turning over fully, he sits up and accepts the cat shaped mug from the table, turning it until his fingers slip into the handle, and wrap around the other side. He lets it warm his hands before taking a long sip, of the vile, bitter liquid.

“Aaaah, perfect.”

Kozume let’s out a noise of disgust as he stirs his pale, creamed and sugared coffee.

“Nasty.” He says airily, settling the spoon down on the wooden coaster.

Tetsurou chuckles tiredly and takes another sip.

“Kei likes his coffee just like this, too.”

Kozume tilts his head but stays silent, waiting for Tetsurou to continue. When he doesn’t, Kozume shifts uncomfortably and gazes around the room.

“How about we start from the beginning, yeah? It’s been awhile since we’ve talked, anyway” He offers gently.

“Okay,” Tetsurou answers, more to himself than anything.

He clears his throat and takes a deep breath.

“You know Bokuto and Akaashi, the ones that we practiced with in highschool?  In the Tokyo training camp? They went to the same college as us.”

Kozume looks at Tetsurou pointedly.

“Yes, Tetsu, we’re all acquainted, we have been for years.”

“You _did_ say the beginning.” Tetsurou points out, taking a tentative sip of his coffee. Kozume rolls his eyes and sets his coffee down. He settles back into his chair and closes his eyes.

“Beginning of the things I don’t know, Tetsurou”

Tetsurou smiles and hums in acknowledgment.

“Well, they started dating a few years back--I know you know.” He adds before Kozume could comment. Kozume opens an eye to look at Tetsurou, his mouth lifting in a half smirk. When Tetsurou doesn’t return the gesture, he opens both eyes and fixes him with a concerned gaze.

“I fell in love with them.” He chokes out quietly, noting the volleyball magazines through the table. He wonders if some of the men on the covers were the ones Hinata was telling him about.

“And...they fell in love with me too...I think,”

“But then I…”

His voice drops so low that Kozume has to lean forward to hear him.

“You ran away.” Kozume finishes.

Tetsurou nods and closes his eyes briefly.

“I was so scared...I didn’t want to mess up what they were, you know? They were already so in love and so perfect and trusting--what if I couldn’t do that? What if I wasn’t enough?”

“I think they were gonna ask me out but I didn’t know when. I was so fucking nervous, Kozume, I was losing sleep over all of it and I wasn’t eating properly...Kaash was even getting concerned-- so I took up a part-time job at this cafe to get my mind off things and...I met this guy.”

Tetsurou smiles, “He was probably one of the biggest ass-holes I’ve ever met, _ever._ But like, there would be these moments where he didn’t think anyone was looking and, _god_ , he looked like, I dunno, he was holding up the world or something. He was so...different...and I...wanted to get to know him better. As we started to spend more time together, I realized I wasn’t thinking about Kaash or Bo. It was nice, kind of. Not really, actually, but I wasn’t losing sleep anymore so, I guess it was better. But then, I started thinking about him a lot and I think he started to like me too and he's actually really sweet. He’s just been through a lot of shit, you know? I hadn’t realized that I was getting out of touch with Bo and Kaash, though they didn’t say anything. I didn’t even tell them about Kei...”

Tetsurou's hands tighten around his mug.

“It had been a few months and I asked Kei out for dinner, just to treat him, and we ended up going to my place and we...hooked up…”

“I thought of Akaashi and Bokuto the whole time...I felt guilty. I didn’t know why.”

“Then the morning of the two of them are at the door with...with _flowers_ , and they looked so happy...and...and then Akaashi sees Kei coming out of the bedroom in my shirt and…”

“I’ve never seen someone look like that before.” He chokes out the last few words and bites his lip, hard.

“And Bo...he...looked so...so _sad_.”

“Akaashi...threw the flowers at me and left. Bokuto just looked at me, I think he wanted to say something but he ended leaving too…

I cried. A lot. I tried to explain it all to Kei without making it seem like he was just a distraction to me and I think I confused him but he didn’t say anything? And then I told him I loved him and that I meant it because I did, I really did love him. Akaashi texted after and we fought over the phone and then ignored me for a few weeks. Then he texted me a few days later like everything was normal and I just went with it. I convinced Kei to hang out with us and we did it a lot and things were kind of back to normal. I could tell Kei was uncomfortable and shit but I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to mess up whatever we had between all of us and it was so confusing and awful and I really liked Kei and I also still liked Kaash and Bo but I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know, _anything_ . It went like this for what? A few weeks? And then like two days ago all of us got drunk? And we made out and acted like complete idiots? And then Kei and I fought and I don’t know where any of them are and I’m so, _so_ lost…”

Tetsurou narrows his eyes at the tears spilling into his coffee and on his clothes. Disgusted at himself because the only thing he was certain, the only thing he would _always_ be certain of, was his inadequacy.

Kozume lets him cry, his presence a steady comfort to Tetsurou even after all these years.

Kozume’s phone vibrates on the counter and Tetsurou looks up to see him get up to see who it is. He stares at the caller ID and purses his lips, glancing quickly at Tetsurou.

“Who--?” Tetsurou’s cracks but Kozume answers before he can try again.

“It’s Bokuto.”

Tetsurou swears and sets his cup down, making his way to Kozume’s side.

“You should pick up.” Tetsurou says softly, wrapping his arms around Kozume’s and settling his chin on to of his head.

When Kozume accepts the call, he immediately pulls the phone away from his ear. He doesn’t have to put it on speakerphone to hear the yelling. Akaashi and Kei’s voices are too loud to make out individual words. When Bokuto finally speaks, Tetsurou feels Kozume tense beneath him.

Bokuto, was,  _pissed_.

“I don’t care where he is, or what he’s doing,  if he doesn’t get his ass in my house by noon, I _will_ punch him.”  
Bokuto hangs up, leaving the two men in stunned silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments, kudos, and bookmarks appreciated!! thank you for reading ily !!!
> 
> /this work is far from perfect so if you notice any inconsistencies and/or confused on some things please do feel free to let me know in the comments!!/ 
> 
> (also if it wasn't clear, karasuno never participated in the tokyo training camp :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something small since I haven't been updating recently. Enjoy! [unedited, will make changes later]

Tetsurou fidgets in front of the door, his fist hovering over the wood. He exhales through his mouth, rolling his shoulders and knocks three times.

He laughs under his breath, fingers crinkling the paper wrapped flowers. He jumps from foot to foot slightly, tilting his neck right, left, and back again to calm his nerves. Eased until the door swings open--along with his mouth.

 _“Holy shit,_ ” He breaths because surely, the creature in front him can be nothing but divine.  

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, the smallest of smirks stretching his lips.

“Shall we?” He murmurs, adjusting his tie before stepping out the door and easily slipping his hand into Tetsurou’s.

Tetsurou looks at his hand, entwined with a paler one and up to the amused man standing in front of him. He clears his throat, his face slowly being enveloped in heat, and quickly extends the flowers and stutters a small, “F-for you.”

He closes his eyes briefly because _when did it get so fucking hot?_ and _we fucking practiced this Testurou get a hold of yourself, goddamnit._

He hears the paper rustling and feels the flowers slipping out of his fingers, yet all he seems to see are Tsukishima's golden eyes, shining under wispy lashes and thin strawberry lips. He follows Tsukishima’s head as it dips down into the long stems, the periodic blooming of flowers curving gently against his skin.

“Where did you get these?” He asks, straightening.

“Oh, well, uh, Kenma grows them in his tea shop.”

“And you thought they looked nice?”

Tetsurou nods.

“Do...you not like them?”

_[“They’re called snapdragons because when you press em, they look like dragons!” Tadashi chirps, bending down and examining the sunset colored petals._

_“They represent deception and graciousness.” He says, narrowing his eyes in mock solemnity._

_“Deception and graciousness, huh. Do they represent both or either?”_

_Tadashi shrugs and straightens, his gaze wandering to the other flowers in the shop._

_“I dunno, I guess that’s up to you to decide.”_

_“That’s lame.”_

_“You're lame.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Heh, sorry Tsukki.”_

_“Don’t apologize, idiot.”_

_“Okay, Tsukki!”_

_Tadashi giggles and trails his hands gently on the flowers as he passes them, slowly and filled with wonder. Petals fall, pink and orange, the leaves, green and full, petals are still falling, red and white, falling on silence.]_

“...Tsukishima?”

Tsukishima, jolts and clears his throat. He smiles softly.

“They’re perfect.”

_[Will you show me, Kuroo Tetsurou? What these flowers mean?]_

 

\---

 

“Hm...what about: We’ve been friends for a long time and me and Kaash were thinking if you would, uh, accept us and we love you a lot and I want to kiss you everywhere and ahhhhh Akaaaashiiiii~”

“I think that’s perfect.”

Keiji wraps his arms around Koutarou and meets his eyes through the mirror, smiling sleepily.

Koutarou tilts his head back, humming when he feels Keiji’s lips skim his neck.

“I love you.” He breathes.

“I love you too, Akaashi.”

“Forever?”

“Forever and ever and ever."

They stare at each other through the glass. The butterflies flitting listlessly between them. 

“Are you scared? For tomorrow?” Akaashi whispers.  

The water drips from the faucet, slipping down the smooth porcelain, trailing like tears.

“Yeah.”

The water continues to drip, disappearing down the unblinking drain.

“He loves us, Koutarou.”

Koutarou silently reaches forward and closes the faucet.

“I know.”

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the small updates and cliffhangers :(
> 
> Might be some sexual content in the next chapter, tbh was gonna write it in this one but hh im really not in the mood for writing smut but ill get to it eventually lmao
> 
> thank you so so much for reading and dealing with these painful cliffhangers! feedback, ideas, and kudos are all welcome !!
> 
> Note: Tsukishima and Kuroo's scene was in the afternoon and Bo and Kaash's scene was the night of the same day
> 
> idk if i should write the whole dinner scene out between Tsukki and Tetsu i was just gonna cut to them fucking but if you guys wanna read a lot of dumb flirting and awkwardness please do let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on Tumblr:
> 
> @kageyamaotori (hq/vld/yoi)
> 
> @kageotori (main)


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